Summer Dayzzzzzz

Its summer and that can only mean one thing, Food!

It is so interesting when you take the time to jot down those days throughout the year that are associated with food, like December for instance, there are work xmas dinners; family parties; xmas eve; xmas day; boxing day; leftovers; oh yeah and of course New Years Eve and New Years Day.  Well, we often forget summer time and its many festivities and that is what I am faced with now that summer is here :)  I am well into maintenance now and battling daily addiction queues which has made for a rocky past few weeks.  I have definitely eaten quite a few things I said I would never go back to and some I have enjoyed, while others I could do without.   I am keeping up my exercise and trying to get through each day, but it is days like today when all I can think about is food.  My husband and I went for a wonderful walk this morning after a regular balanced breakfast, came home and made a well balanced lunch, but all I can think about is tonights bbq that we are going to and what I will eat.  Keeping within my calories is my current number one focus because it is so easy to slip past that magical number.  I never realized how tough battling the addiction side of this journey would be, I know to eat the correct things and I know when its time to stop but there is always the addiction in the back of my head telling me "go ahead, have some more!"

So, tonight I am going to a summer bbq, one of many summer events which revolve around food.  While everyone is enjoying their beer, food and good conversations I will be constantly fighting myself to not have seconds or eat the pasta salad instead of the green salad which I know I should choose and actually enjoy eating.  If I decide before I go not to have an item and I set my mind to it, I can usually get through it which is very positive.  It is those times when I say I am not going to have something and I am presented with that item that the addiction kicks in and I begin the battle.  I am sure I sound pretty crazy but it hasn't been until the maintenance phase that I was really faced with my food addiction.  Honeslty, most people cannot relate to this battle that food addicts have.  I have had people tell me to "just don't eat it" to "just have one bite", these are the people that definitely cannot relate and have never had an issue with food before.

Food is a daily requirement and not a choice, we have to eat to survive unlike a smoking addiction which is a choice.  But dont get me wrong, they both come with the same addictions and struggles while quitting or giving up a food!