It is December 28th and that means that I made it through Christmas! Family arrived on Sunday December 23rd and I was ready, what irritability I was experiencing quickly went away when they arrived and we had a wonderful few days with them.
With that being said Christmas was extremely hard for me. Christmas eve was a quiet day, we did some last minute shopping to pass the day and my husband and I cooked a wonderful meal for them. I did not sit with them while they ate but I simply drank my shake on the couch and engaged in conversation. Christmas morning I woke up feeling hungry and having a bit of anxiety, I knew that I would be spending most of the day with not just our company (my husbands parents) but we were going to a big dinner with 14 of my family members as well. We arrived at my parents place early to open a few Christmas gifts and then the guests started arriving, my mom and dad planned a sit down dinner for 16 in their home just around the time I would be drinking my shake. Some of these family members knew I was in this program and others have not been told yet. I decided to help serve dinner with my parents to avoid sitting down at the dinner table. The table I sat at was one of two, it consisted of my husband, parents, sister, niece and two relatives, I felt very comfortable while sitting with them when they ate, the two other family members at the table with us did not know I was in the program and I was able to tell them once they figured out I was not even eating!
I did not have a chance to really talk about it with other family members as they didn't notice that I was not eating so I decided to leave it be for now. I found Christmas day by far the hardest, not because I wanted to eat the food they were having but that I felt like I was missing out on something. I am still trying to process exactly why I was feeling this way and what it is that I was missing out on.
Boxing day was an easy day for me, my husbands family left to visit their other son and I attended another big family potluck. I drank a shake before I left and I drank a shake 4 hours later when I got home, the meal was not sit down but a eat at your leisure so no one noticed that I was not up and picking at all of the food. A few people did ask me, "did you get something to eat yet?" and I simply said that I already ate, which wasn't really a lie :)
I made it through the holidays with just a few emotional days but I am so proud of myself for sticking to this and not allowing myself a quick slip up. I am 16 days into liquid and I made it! I have not put anything into my mouth other than my shakes and water and again last night at my program it showed on the scale, another 6 lbs down for a total of 28 lbs lost in just 5 weeks! :)
Friday, December 28, 2012
Sunday, December 23, 2012
Be Inspired
I purchased a Smash book in the summer not knowing what I would use it for. I finally pulled it out a few weeks ago and decided to use it as my journal. A major part of this program they emphasize is journaling, now as a blogger I thought that i wouldn't need to journal but I was definitely wrong. I am using this journal to help me plan for transition back to food and maintenance and a reminder of where I have come from and how I will make it through hard times. It contains a few favourite quotes, words of wisdom from family and friends, a before picture as well as a section for a few recipes I find along the way to help me reach my goal of cooking fresh!
When I am having a bad day I pull it out, write a few notes and browse through previous entries!
When I am having a bad day I pull it out, write a few notes and browse through previous entries!
Taking it one day at a time
That is right, I am taking it one day at a time. Week 1 of liquid has passed and 7 more lbs down for a total of 22 lbs lost in 4 weeks. Sounds good to me! Sticking to drinking only my liquid shakes was easy enough in week 1, now that I am in the middle of week 2 I have really noticed how much I am missing food. I haven't really had many side effects from being in Ketosis other than the obvious, bad breath, stinky pee, dry mouth and dry skin. I actually wasn't feeling much hunger until Friday, I was irritable, tired and wanted to eat everything around, even though I stuck to my guns it was a hard day.
So here we are, 1 day away from Christmas. Day 11 into 90 days of liquid bliss :) feeling a little tired today and semi irritable, trying not to freak out on my husband. I have started to make note of behaviors around food in which I never had to deal with before or even recognized. I am taking time to write more and also read to take my mind away from the fact that I miss eating.
I made it through the week with very little issues, now that I am at day 11 of liquid I have had a few bad days. I noticed I am hungry in between shakes but I cannot yet figure out if it is actual hunger or boredom which I used to fill with food. I am about to spend three days with many family and friends over Christmas explaining why I am not eating Christmas dinner while they all stuff their faces with the food I love. Happy Holidays to everyone who is following me! I have a new interesting topics which I will post after Christmas!
So here we are, 1 day away from Christmas. Day 11 into 90 days of liquid bliss :) feeling a little tired today and semi irritable, trying not to freak out on my husband. I have started to make note of behaviors around food in which I never had to deal with before or even recognized. I am taking time to write more and also read to take my mind away from the fact that I miss eating.
I made it through the week with very little issues, now that I am at day 11 of liquid I have had a few bad days. I noticed I am hungry in between shakes but I cannot yet figure out if it is actual hunger or boredom which I used to fill with food. I am about to spend three days with many family and friends over Christmas explaining why I am not eating Christmas dinner while they all stuff their faces with the food I love. Happy Holidays to everyone who is following me! I have a new interesting topics which I will post after Christmas!
Sunday, December 16, 2012
The Wine Glass
The significance of the wine glass~
My meal 4 times a day consists of the following - a packet of Optifast, a plastic shaker, 12 oz of water and ice cubes (oh and a tsp of benefiber not for taste). Pour 12 oz of cold water into plastic shaker, add 2-3 ice cubes and contents Optifast, shake vigorously until blended and smooth, drink.
That is it, nothing special or exciting to look forward to like food provides. I have decided to change that theory and enjoy each and every shake like it were a glass of cold crisp white wine! Now mind you I do not take a wine glass to work each and every day, I transfer the liquid to a drinking glass to enjoy. When I am home that is a different story, I have a special wine goblet I am using to enjoy my shake to it's fullest, the significance of the wine glass is not for show but to allow me the opportunity to smell, sip and roll the liquid around in my mouth to savor all its flavor like I do with a nice glass of white wine!
My meal 4 times a day consists of the following - a packet of Optifast, a plastic shaker, 12 oz of water and ice cubes (oh and a tsp of benefiber not for taste). Pour 12 oz of cold water into plastic shaker, add 2-3 ice cubes and contents Optifast, shake vigorously until blended and smooth, drink.
That is it, nothing special or exciting to look forward to like food provides. I have decided to change that theory and enjoy each and every shake like it were a glass of cold crisp white wine! Now mind you I do not take a wine glass to work each and every day, I transfer the liquid to a drinking glass to enjoy. When I am home that is a different story, I have a special wine goblet I am using to enjoy my shake to it's fullest, the significance of the wine glass is not for show but to allow me the opportunity to smell, sip and roll the liquid around in my mouth to savor all its flavor like I do with a nice glass of white wine!
Week 5 & Liquid
It has been just over a week since I last sat down to blog, quite a bit has happened since last week. I finished off week 4 strong and completely stuck to my 1200 calories/day, I lost another 2 lbs and most of all started week 5 on liquid Optifast.
I left my group meeting on Wednesday with my week supply of optifast packets ready to start a new day, when I got home I counted them all out and separated them into 7 days of 4 packets. When I got up Thursday it felt like a normal day, I grabbed my 4 packets and shaker and headed to work, I did catch myself wandering around the kitchen for a few minutes opening cupboards out of habit, I felt like I was forgetting something (food maybe). I was feeling anxiety that morning because I wasn't sure if I would like them and considering this is all I am consuming over the next 100+ days I was worried. Luckily it tasted OK, it definitely needs to be mixed with cold water and with a few ice cubes. I found as the day progressed and especially 4 days into liquid I am really enjoying the taste and looking forward to my next shake as it is the only thing other than water that is being consumed.
I got through Thursday fine, surprisingly not experiencing much hunger. Friday I woke up tired and that lasted most of the day, Saturday was definitely the same, I was tired and feeling some hunger. Saturday my husband and I went Christmas shopping at the mall, I woke up and drank my shake around 9:00am and we headed out to fight the crowds. Well, walking around the mall for 3+ hours did it for me, I was exhausted and hungry, we left the mall around noon and I couldn't wait any longer I mixed my shake in the car and scarfed it down. One thing I have learned is I cannot leave the house without 1-2 packets, a bottle of water and a shaker in my purse, I couldn't just stop and eat something like I normally would. To be honest the entire day I was struggling with old habits, whenever my husband and I are out and about we pick up stuff to eat while we are shopping; but once I got my shake into me I was ready to keep going.
Today is Sunday and I slept in, I feel great today other then some fatigue and thirst but I am taking it easy wrapping some presents and listening to Christmas music! I cannot believe I am 4 days into liquid already, I could get used to this!
I left my group meeting on Wednesday with my week supply of optifast packets ready to start a new day, when I got home I counted them all out and separated them into 7 days of 4 packets. When I got up Thursday it felt like a normal day, I grabbed my 4 packets and shaker and headed to work, I did catch myself wandering around the kitchen for a few minutes opening cupboards out of habit, I felt like I was forgetting something (food maybe). I was feeling anxiety that morning because I wasn't sure if I would like them and considering this is all I am consuming over the next 100+ days I was worried. Luckily it tasted OK, it definitely needs to be mixed with cold water and with a few ice cubes. I found as the day progressed and especially 4 days into liquid I am really enjoying the taste and looking forward to my next shake as it is the only thing other than water that is being consumed.
I got through Thursday fine, surprisingly not experiencing much hunger. Friday I woke up tired and that lasted most of the day, Saturday was definitely the same, I was tired and feeling some hunger. Saturday my husband and I went Christmas shopping at the mall, I woke up and drank my shake around 9:00am and we headed out to fight the crowds. Well, walking around the mall for 3+ hours did it for me, I was exhausted and hungry, we left the mall around noon and I couldn't wait any longer I mixed my shake in the car and scarfed it down. One thing I have learned is I cannot leave the house without 1-2 packets, a bottle of water and a shaker in my purse, I couldn't just stop and eat something like I normally would. To be honest the entire day I was struggling with old habits, whenever my husband and I are out and about we pick up stuff to eat while we are shopping; but once I got my shake into me I was ready to keep going.
Today is Sunday and I slept in, I feel great today other then some fatigue and thirst but I am taking it easy wrapping some presents and listening to Christmas music! I cannot believe I am 4 days into liquid already, I could get used to this!
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Last week of 1200 calories
Well, I cannot believe that I am starting my final week of 1200 calories, where did the time go! I remember back to the first night and thinking that 3 weeks of 1200 calories will feel like a lifetime but in hind sight it is a moment in time compared to the life long journey I have begun!
One thing that i did not realize would be such and issue over these past two weeks is how much of a daily struggle it would be to avoid those foods that are not on the recommends list. It is a daily mental battle for me. I went into this program saying, "I will stick to this, I will not deviate from 1200 calories" now starting week 3 I have an entirely different approach! I will stick to 1200 calories as "best as I can" while I work through my mental behaviours. I never ever though I would ever say that I had an addiction to food, I ate what I wanted, when I wanted and did not acknowledge how it made me feel or my triggers around food. But over the past week and especially after last night I am able to pick up on my behaviours and know what I need to work on. I truly know now that I have unhealthy behaviours related to food!
Last night on the scale I saw a 1 lb loss, I will admit that I was disappointed, but it is a loss and at this point that is what is most important! I wanted to see more but again I need to remember that there is more to my journey then just the number on the scale. 13 lbs down in two weeks is fantastic and I just need to slow down and remember that I am not in this for a quick change, it's life long!
One thing that i did not realize would be such and issue over these past two weeks is how much of a daily struggle it would be to avoid those foods that are not on the recommends list. It is a daily mental battle for me. I went into this program saying, "I will stick to this, I will not deviate from 1200 calories" now starting week 3 I have an entirely different approach! I will stick to 1200 calories as "best as I can" while I work through my mental behaviours. I never ever though I would ever say that I had an addiction to food, I ate what I wanted, when I wanted and did not acknowledge how it made me feel or my triggers around food. But over the past week and especially after last night I am able to pick up on my behaviours and know what I need to work on. I truly know now that I have unhealthy behaviours related to food!
Last night on the scale I saw a 1 lb loss, I will admit that I was disappointed, but it is a loss and at this point that is what is most important! I wanted to see more but again I need to remember that there is more to my journey then just the number on the scale. 13 lbs down in two weeks is fantastic and I just need to slow down and remember that I am not in this for a quick change, it's life long!
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Struggling a bit
Three days into week 2 and I admit that I am struggling a bit. Not with breakfast, lunch or snack but with my supper time meal. I am motivated to make it and did make it all last week but for some reason the start of this week I am struggling with making the right decision to choose my healthy supper meal. I am letting my habits and hunger take over and the past two night have had food outside of my recommended list of foods.
Now, I knew this would be a struggle and I keep reminding myself that I am only 10 days into new eating habits and how do I change 20 years of bad habits in two weeks? It just doesn't happen. I truly am looking forward to the next 3 months so while I am on liquid only and cleansing my pallet I can focus all of my energy on why I have these bad habits and how I deal with them while transitioning back to food!!
Now, I knew this would be a struggle and I keep reminding myself that I am only 10 days into new eating habits and how do I change 20 years of bad habits in two weeks? It just doesn't happen. I truly am looking forward to the next 3 months so while I am on liquid only and cleansing my pallet I can focus all of my energy on why I have these bad habits and how I deal with them while transitioning back to food!!
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