It's about time!

Well it is October 31st and Halloween at that!  I am beyond excited, last week I officially found out my start date!  Wednesday, November 14th session 9 is set to begin.  We have 20 participants assessed for session 9 and on November 6th the clinicians will complete their final clinical rounds and move forward with the start date.  I will be contacted after November 6th to confirm and receive more information about the first week.

When I first found out the start date I was a little bit frustrated because what was originally supposed to be an October 31st start date was now moved to November 14th, the waiting game is so so hard at times.  But here I am now only two weeks away.  All of my energy is now focused on this program and  moving forward!  I will definitely start blogging more often as I get closer and with every experience I have during this next year! Yippee!

Frustration

I know I said that the next time I post will be when I got the phone call but I need to vent just a bit.  I took it upon myself to check in with the clinic just to see where things stand as the last tentative start date was October 3rd!  As of right now they have 16 people assessed and ready to start which makes me super happy because 3 weeks ago they only had 9.  The problem is that they want to have 20 to start to make it a complete group and I definitely understand that but 16 of us are ready and wanting to get started.

The clinicians are scheduled to complete their assessment rounds on October 23rd and make the final decision on the start date which is now tentatively booked for October 31st.  They are confident that will be the date but will obviously say tentative until its set in stone.  So, at first i felt a bit of frustration as I hung up the phone as its been a few months since my first information session, but as I am blogging it out here I feel great knowing that we have 16 confirmed and assessed participants and now its up to the program clinicians to get this thing rolling :) I have continued the process of cutting back on my bad habits and will enjoy thanksgiving dinner this weekend knowing that in just a few more weeks I will begin this journey!

Happy Thanksgiving Canada!

It's Been A While

Well life has been busy!  I know it has been a while since I have posted but I am taking a few minutes now.  Last time I wrote I was preparing to have my Physician Assessment!  It occurred as planned and it was great, he went over my blood work again, took my blood pressure, listened to my lungs and heart, felt my belly and weighed me again, surprisingly I was down 2 lbs but I will take it considering the program hasn't begun as of yet.  My blood pressure was good, I was nervous about that because I have been having a bit of swelling in my feet and ankles, he told me that it is common in obese individuals and he said that he is not concerned because my blood work, heart and blood pressure are normal.  He said that I should see that subside with the weight loss and diet changes.

With all of this being said the doctor thinks that I am the perfect candidate for this program, I am young with good overall health and he feels that I will get a hold of my health and my body will let go of the weight.  I was smiling from ear to ear as I left his office! 

So, it is now October 1st and I am officially waiting for the call that tells me when session 9 is to begin.  The past three weeks have not been the easiest, while I have been waiting I have been eating.  I may have gone a little overboard with eating those foods on the "list", but I have come back down to reality and with a little discussion reminded myself that I am only hurting myself in the process.  I am ready for my program to begin, I am ready to take this step and I am ready for that phone call :) While I am waiting I have started to let more and more people know that I will be starting this journey, everyone is happy for me and supports me in my decision.  I have also been focusing a lot on how I will handle temptations, attending big dinners and most importantly not being able to eat over the Christmas and New Years Holidays due to being on my liquid phase! On paper I can handle it, I know it will be tough while I am going through it.  Having the support of my family and friends will be a big part of my success in this journey!  So, I will continue to wait for that call and until then continue to prepare myself for what is to come.  The next time I post will be to announce the big day!!

Vacation flew by...

I just realized that I am thoroughly enjoying expressing my thoughts via a blog, it is therapeutic and keeps me motivated.

Back from vacation and getting ready for the next step, I used my vacation time to enjoy those foods I have decided to never eat again after starting my program.  Mind you I did not go crazy but I definitely savored a few of my favorite comfort foods.  my husband recommended that I make "a list" of those foods I wish to remove from my eating habits.  I am sure if the psychologist read this she would shake her head and say "typical" attempt at making lifestyle changes and behaviors changes, but I am doing it anyway..

So I made a list:

Title: The foods I will eat before my journey begins

• Ice Cream (which I ate every day on my vacation at the cottage)
• a Big Mac
• Chocotates
• Chips
• Slushies (Pepsi at that)
• White Bread
• Fried Foods
• Sweets & Pastries

This is just a sample of what is on this list but as I read back on my list I said to myself - there is not one "healthy" food on this list.  No wonder I am obese.  I plan on taking this list with me to all sessions and appointments as I truly do not want to go back to these foods.  Wait a minute I think I should say that I CANNOT go back to these foods because obviously they are a reason for where I am today. I have already had at least one of each item on the list so far...
I said to myself that when I got back from vacation I would start slow and wean myself off these tempting foods, I am doing it but damn it is hard.  No wonder we will be on a liquid diet for 12 weeks, it will take this long to break me of my habits.  I know it will work for me though.

I have my final physician assessment scheduled for September 12th, I know it will be brief but it brings me that much closer to the start date!  After September 12th it will be a waiting game for the official start date of my group.
Until then I will continue to "wean" myself off of those foods I will no longer eat and get myself ready for the next step!

Reality

Well,  It is the end of the week and this week was a busy one.  On Thursday I had my first set of assessments at pfhw, I was excited and looking forward to this next step as it moves me closer to my start date.  I don't think I was ready for the reality that hit me during my assessments.  My appointment was at 9:00am, I arrived at 8:45am with enough time to read some material and wait for my first assessment, there was one other lady waiting for her assessment as well and she looked quite anxious!  I met with the Psychologist first and she was very friendly, her first question to me before we started was "Why don't you tell me why you are here".  Well like clockwork the waterworks came on, as I get older I am finding myself to be more emotional, whether I am watching a movie or reading a book or listening to a conversation or expressing myself I tend to cry, I told her this is who I am and she gave me comfort in saying that she see's a lot of crying in this clinic!
She proceeded to go over my online assessment in which she said helps her to paint a picture of me and my background and habits.  What I learned is that not only do I enjoy food, I plan my eating binges they call them.  People who are obese and eat do one of two things, they either plan their eating binge or they don't.  Example:  Two people are hungry after work, the first person goes to the grocery store and just picks up a few things and eats them, the second person plans their eating binge and decides when and what they are going to consume even though they know it is over the top.  Well that is me,  I plan my eating binges and can pin point examples where I have done just that :-) I left that assessment knowing that I have some work ahead of me but I am ready for it.
My next assessment was with the Dietitian,  I was really looking forward to it and discussing a few of my concerns, and how I was going to be able to get through them as the weeks progress.  The first thing she did was take my height and weight...well that was it for me I looked at the scale and was in shock!  I stared at the number for probably 30 seconds before I heard her tell me twice that we can move to the height machine now.  I am currently at the heaviest weight I have ever been and immediately felt embarrassed.  As you read this I know you are interested in knowing my starting weight but I am not ready yet to express it.  I have no idea how I let myself go as far as I did but I do know that this program is exactly where I need to be to start.  She asked me "Do you have a goal weight in mind" I told her not at this point...she was quite happy to hear me say that because it is not about the number on the scale with this program it is about your overall health!  The dietitian proceeded to go over a bit of my returned blood work and she said that everything is in normal range except for my iron levels (which have always been an issue for me) and my vitamin D levels!
I left my assessments with confidence in my decision to take this journey and look forward to the next step.  My next and final step before the start date is my Physician assessment which is not until mid September, it is a quick 30 minute assessment for the doctor to get to know me and my physical makeup.
Earlier this week I also had and appointment with my family physician, as he referred me he is well aware of each stage I am at.  He wants me to not wait until the October start date to make changes, he wants me to start now.  I looked at him and said "easier said than done" he told me that I am the only person holding back no one else is.  After leaving my assessments and learning of my current weight I said "OK, my doctor is right.  I need to start now." But no sooner then me saying that, I stopped for some take out food on my way home and said to myself "I will start after my vacation." Until next time!
  

So it Begins!

I received my "assessment" phone call.  Before the program actually starts in October I have quite a bit of medical assessments to complete, this provides the clinicians a complete profile of myself and what they will be dealing with once the program starts.
One great thing about the PfHW program is that I will be medically monitored by a physician, a nurse, a dietitian, a physiotherapist and a psychologist for the entire 52 weeks on a weekly basis.  Each clinician plays an important part in the overall success of every individual who makes their way through the program.  First step is I had to have a series of blood tests completed, I have had to have blood work completed before but come on this time it was 8 tubes they had to fill.  Do they really need 8 tubes of blood to analyze my body profile?  and I have to complete this series of blood work at week 5, 8 16 and 24! That is a lot of blood.
Next I had to complete an online 2 hour questionnaire which touched on my current eating habits, and my thought process around myself and food.  This was eye opening for me, for years I have "lied" to myself about my eating habits good or bad, made excuses and just plain denied what was obvious.  I decided not to "fake" the obvious because part of moving forward with this journey is to face the facts. I like to eat!
With all of this completed next week I will attend my assessment appointment in which I meet with the clinical dietitian to discuss my current food choices and eating habits, this appointment lasts 45 minutes.  I will then visit with the clinical psychologist, believe it or not I am really looking forward to this!  I want to dig deeper into why I have failed in all my other "diet" attempts and what is really causing me to eat.
After I complete my assessment sessions next week, I will definitely post on my experience.
Until next time!

My Reason!

At 32 years old I am finally taking charge of my life.  No more diets, no more excuses, this is it; I will succeed in my weight loss journey.  I have decided to write weekly blogs as I partake in a year long medically supervised weight loss program in my home town of Halifax, Nova Scotia.  My journey does not officially start until October, but the beginning stages have just begun.  I hope that my journey will inspire not only myself but my readers as well.  Thank you for all of your support through this John! I Love you.